March 27, 2024
It’s crazy how church can elicit so many emotions from so many people. It is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ and the irrefutable and immutable Word of God. It brings people together by the millions every single Sunday. Yet, church can elicit so many emotions. For some, church is a place where people go to be dictated to by a dictator of a God who only wants what He wants. For others, it is a safe space of love and healing where their hearts, their minds, and their souls can be free of judgment, fear, and condemnation. For others, it is yet another place of oppression and hurt and maybe even guilt. But what we don’t talk about much is that it is also a place where the lines of worship can be visibly divided by the color line.
I have recently crossed over that color line. Having attended a wonderful Bible Study for the last 18 years called Bible Study Fellowship, I am used to studying God’s Word in a “diverse” environment. Bible Study Fellowship is a beautiful sea of ALL women, but even still I have for years had a hard time crossing that color line on Sunday morning. So when God called me out of the church, I had attended for the last 10 years I hesitated. It took me almost two years to walk in obedience because it was uncomfortable. I was out of my comfort zone. Because that church that I had decided to cross the color line with was THAT church “on the other side of Hurstbourne.”
Before I joined, I had been attending and saw so many other people of color that I knew. Yes, I was looking for them. As I am conditioned to do, as is my comfort zone, I look for others who look like me because it gives me ease to know I’m not the “only black girl.” Well, I was in the parking lot and that didn’t take long. I could pick anywhere to my left or my right, to my front or my back, I had my pick of folks who looked like me. God was gracious in giving me what I needed in my humanity in the moment.
Unfortunately, this is a source of division especially in the black church. Where it seems to be frowned upon when black Christians choose to go to a “white” church. It has been said that to take our tithes away from the black church leaves the black church unable to provide the same resources as larger “white” churches. It has been said or maybe insinuated that your “blackness” is in question because you choose to attend a “white” church. It has been said that providing those financial resources to “white” churches is basically to fund non-black community initiatives. All these things have been said. And if I’m honest, all of these things I have thought to myself at one point or the other when someone would share, they attend a “white” church. But God showed me how in error my thoughts and my heart had been.
When I walk through those doors, everyone does not look like me, but I am welcomed with a smile and a greeting. When I walk up those stairs, my children are welcomed joyfully and happily into their classroom. When I walk into that sanctuary, I am surrounded by others who have hands lifted and voices deep into worship. While I do not hear messages specifically about my “blackness” I hear messages about my Christ likeness (And wouldn’t you know, I am still black when I leave . . . who knew). And when I walk out those doors my heart is happy, and my soul is full. And I sit in the car and listen to my Children's storied lessons from their classrooms and all that they learned about Christ and my heart smiles, and my soul breathes because yes, their Children's ministry is more than a Sunday school class it is a ministry that is equipped with Christlike soldiers committed to changing the lives of children.
So, no matter how many times I endure the looks from those who wonder how someone like me could go to THAT church “on the other side of Hurstbourne” God reminds me every time I step foot in that building that I made the right decision. And the embarrassment I have felt to share with others, especially black Christians has been lonely and overwhelming but I’m thankful for my sisters in Christ (and you know who you are) who have called me, let me cry, let me vent, and let me be who God made me to be and didn’t judge me when I finally said I joined that church “on the other side of Hurstbourne.”
I am saddened that at one point I was feeding into the Sunday morning division. I am saddened that those we entrust with our minds and hearts use their pulpit to divide the church instead of uplifting it. I am saddened that there are those who may be unchurched but because it’s a “white” church they choose to stay at home.
I am thankful for growth, and I know it’s only because of Him. So, I write this blog unashamed of my decision; unashamed of my church home; and unashamed of Christ. I write this post that in case there is someone out there who worries about walking into a church that God is calling you to, and you aren’t sure there are people there who look like you . . . go where God leads. He has paved a way for you. Church is full of imperfect people, who may be very different from you, but where God leads, He provides. And just like He provided what I needed to calm my fears, He did it because He wanted me to keep walking. So, keep walking. People may be hurling insults at you to your face and behind your back but keep walking. People may tell you passive aggressive comments that are meant to degrade your choice but keep walking. Your spirit may be offended by something they did or said, just keep walking. And you know what? God will honor your obedience. No matter what others may think. No matter what others may say (or not say), you plus God is a winning combination.
Just keep walking with God and if you’re connected to Him . . . You’re in the right place! #BeBlessed and maybe I will see you at Southeast Christian Church one day . . . Or not.